back at work

What a day, thrown straight in at the deep end. Busy morning with laprascopic work, which is actually far more difficult that it would at first seem! Plus it takes so much longer than an open case, I hope the recovery for the patient is loads better for it to be worth the effort.

Alice left this morning in her usual strop as I was going to work! I thought I would be nice and leave her in bed until the last minute while I got my lunch sorted, well that wasn't fair as she wanted to watch TV! I wish I had the strength to get rid of it but I know I would miss it too much - how sad am I, shackled to a TV and not able to be released from it's grasp. Anyway, she can get up with me tomorrow whether she is tired or not. Maybe then she won't be quite so quick to rant at me when I let her have a lie-in.

So after my hard day at work, busy all afternoon with c-sections - one litle boy called Alfie and another little girl as yet awaiting a name. I got home and G picked me up so we could collect our little darlings from Rainbows - out the come with cute little pottery models they have made and food bracelets they are desperate to eat - hyperactivity ensured once they do eat them!
there is our first arguement - Alice wants to eat it right now but I know that my Mum has made us some tea and she will be less than happy if Alice doesn't eat hers. Then both kids have a bust up in the back of the car - hating eachother and lashing out over a bottle of water neither one of them really wants. As soon as I remove said bottle they go back to thinking they are the best and start nagging about a sleepover - how do kids do it?? When I get mad it takes me some time before I am ready to forgive and move on, maybe I need to learn something here and be quicker to just forget and carry on as before the argument, who knows maybe they are wiser than the seem!

When we eventually get home after a huge dinner at the parents (where I feel obliged to stay until everything is cleared away even though it is getting very late) Alice wants a bath but gets a shower, she wants to play but gets a story instead. That must be it, she never gets exactly what she wants! After each of these is vetoed she just carries on like we haven't jsut shouted at eachother and as if I am the best mother ever - where did she ever come up with that idea from! Anyway I kissed her goodnight and I'm sure she is fast asleep with no worries right now, not sure what tomorrow will bring though.

I do know that I am going to have to find a way to deal with all the strees I am feeling at work, I can't let it affect everything. My skin is almost cleared up but I am no closer to getting back to normal work, I am getting very bored of the work I am allowed to do and slightly depressed that no theatre really wants me as I am a fairly unproductive member of staff. Plus added to this there is also the idea floating round in my head (since speaking to occy health) that I may not be able to work in theatres much longer and may well have to find work somewhere else, where??? That I would like to know, does it have to be somewhere I don't wash my hands too often??

Oh well questions I will have to wait for an answer - now I shall head off to bed and look forward to a better day!!!